So 17little days left until u suppos to come. Its crazy. This pregnancy just ran through the door leavin alot of us just a lil shocked over everything, especially over the fact it ran out the door. i feel like I havent done nothing else but planning as much as I can but feels like I havent planned nottin at all. Everything feels last minute and seriously I have NO clue how things will turn out, but maybe for once its best that way. Just to let life guide us for a change. It might go well u know, just me havin a hard time lettin loose over the control. But as I said...17days. One hand says u comin well over due but then last couples of days sayin u dont wanna wait. Just have this feeling that u might be on your way. No pain, no notting really to get me to think that way but just have this feeling. Another week maybe but who knows? u might stick in there until the end om week 42! well c I guess.

Havent heard notting else from this little princess daddy. I guess he left the country for a bit and seriously I have no clue when he is comin back. He dont seem to care anyhow. His mom though have contacted me and lettin me know that regardless what he will do she is lookin forward to becoming a grandmother and that she wanna be there always n forever. That makes me really happy! She seem like a very nice person.
She live far from where I live but we will make that part work. Im just happy she wanna be a grandmother to her =)

Bells dad avtin real good now! Its crazy. He still got a long way to go until he acts or even think in the way I need him to too trust him but he for now at least is workin in the right direction. That is also something that makes me happy.
Something BULL with that is ...that my feelings for that guy I met n fell inlove with wont let go...feels like he died so I never fell out of love. But then he is standing infront of me...playin with Bell...and he is not that man no more...but somehow I havent given up hope....but it wouldnt even matter cuz I can never take him back! I cant!...but a part of me want to so baaad. Its hard. Feelings....´damn, stupid feelings!

But life in general is pretty good right now. Got the new Phil & Ted stroller, made the babys crib, washed n folded all the clothes...havin fun with Bell....everything is ready for my little star to come.

17days....not far away but damn, not close enough!