Help

hi everyone here my name is kim and can not speak much in swedish and live in Stockholm has gone yes it is soon 2 years and will soon be deported from Sweden and when I come home to my country again they will put me in jail and I  arrives in Syria and I have received a paper on 28/8 2001 I will be sitting on a plane home but I do not want to go and have tried to stop it but it is no longer possible I am so terrified to go back to Syria.  am so very stressed all the time and have not been able to sleep soon in 4 days and when I get there I will not get any help and I take tablets for anxiety and depression and I can not cope with this anymore they have already taken my father and  my brother and what my mother is dead.  sitting in my room thinking about going down to the subway and ending my life instead of going back and sitting in jail.  I'm just going to finish a little bit first then I start going down to the subway and then jump in from there.  have seen a lot of it before I came to Sweden and when you try to sleep you dream about it and hear the sound of bombs and people screaming and my nerves are not so strong sorry you should not listen to things like this and my voices say that I  should jump in front of the train and I do not try to listen to them but it does not work