Englishman struggling to adapt to Swedish home life

How old are your child?

You have equal responsibility for the child and home. When you understand that and act like it you can get her back.

Let her have a night off every week. Take one night and morning every weekend. Spend one hour on housework and one hour taking care of your kid all weekdays but one.

I don't want to offend you...but are you really from England? Your language is..well..perhaps not really that cohesive as one would expect..but maybe you're just an unexperienced writer..

As for your Q's..In my opinion (and I'm pretty sure that there are a lot of women that would say the same) you cannot baby-sit your own child..to take care of your own child is called parenting..If you actually feel that you are doing something extraordinary when you take care of your own child, well..sorry..then you're really missing some major important braincells..at least in my point of view..And this is probably what's caused problems in your relationship..  

thanks Lena. the child is one and a half years old, but I think daddys time will come later when he starts to play football and play games etc, when he is so young, I think the mother should be taking care of the children, isn't that fair? I won't ask my wife to take him to see Malmö FF play.

I ALREADY help with housework, I take care of the dishwasher at weekends and take the rubbish down to the bins but I am at work in the week and when I get home I'm really tired and have no energy to look after the child, it's even difficult to socialise after work with people which I think is important for me to fit in here in Sweden.

By the way, your english is excellent!

It sounds like as if things happened a bit too quick for you two? I take it you haven't known each other for very long...i think your first 'mistake' is that you seem to regard your baby as someone you 'babysit' just to be nice not because you want to and the fact you change diapers as if you want some kind of reward...i think you need to realise this is YOUR baby too. You are the father. When it comes to your gf, this is a fairly common 'problem', we've had the same in our relationship and let me tell you, it takes time! It's hard work taking care of a baby and be up all night as you know and other things become less important. How old is your baby? I think you english men have a lot to learn! By no means are swedes better but we do expect equality (god forbid) and with every right! I don't have any advice apart from..talk to your wife/gf and i hope you will solve some of the issues but again, give it some time mate!

You need to talk to your wife to understand what she expects of you and sort out the cultural differences.

For instance it's just ridiculous that you say that you help her out by babysitting our own child for an hour, it is your child and you should be able to take care of it longer than that (unless she is still breastfeeding of course).

Probably she wants you to share household work and everything related to the child 50/50 when you are at home, then she should hopefully get something done during the days, but if you do not help out at all I totally understand that she does not have the energy to do all that is needed.

Take care of the child in the evenings so that she get's some time for her own and also let her sleep one night per week at the least, as well as agreeing together how to spend the weekends - both when comes to own time, household work and the child.

En skrutt

I AM English, and very highly educated. For example you used the word "unexperienced" when I can tell you that the correct word is "inexperienced".

I don't understand what you mean about babysitting. When i do the same job as a babysitter that we pay, that is babysitting. I do this sometimes. Isn't that being a good parent?

Your English is not as good as Lena's, for example, please check the grammar in this sentence, which is not correct

 If you actually feel that you are doing something extraordinary when you take care of your own child, well..sorry..then you're really missing some major important braincells..at least in my point of view

This is very clumsy, you should probably have written this

"if you actually feel that you're doing something extraordinary when you take care of your own child, well then, sorry, you're really missing some majorLY (I know adverbials are difficult for you swedes) important braincells, at least FROM my point of view".

Why don't you stop trying to correct my english when I'm writing colloquially and instead help me try to work out why my wife has turned from a super sexy exciting fun person into a tired, boring, complaining, cold hag. 

We have something called equality in Sweden which means your ass isn't a babysitter.

You're the dad, you have responsibility of your offspring just as much as she does, so get with the program.

You want sex? Try helping her out with your kid. She's not a sex machine...She's probably tired of taking all the responsibility.

Give her a break. Literally.

You sound like a jackass to be honest, she deserves better.

I don't know what exactly you expected here that you couldn't get in your own country, but you should know feminism is ripe here so I don't know if you are trolling because any dude expecting the woman to do ALL the work at home with the children in SWEDEN (!!) is not very bright....this is Sweden, not Guam.

We have rights here and men cannot take advantage of us here, the law is on our side.

Har ni pratat om hur ni vill leva ihop? Vilka förväntningar ni har på varandra?
Det låter som att ni inte är på samma nivå riktigt.

Spontant så skulle jag aldrig gå med på att min man satt barnvakt. Han är lika delaktig i barnens skötsel som jag. Det enda han inte gör är att amma +  att jag tar nätterna eftersom bebisen ammas stup i kvarten då.
Att förvänta sig att hon ska ta hand om hemmet och ha maten färdig när du kommer hem är nog  inte realistiskt om ert barn är av det lite mer krävande sorten eller för en förstagångsförälder heller för den delen.

Generellt är vi nog rätt jämställda här i Sverige. Kvinnor och män hjälps åt med hushållsarbete och barn på ett sätt som man inte gör i många andra länder.

I vår familj  delar vi hyfsat lika. Jag gör lite mer hushållsarbete, men i gengäld tar han hand om bilarna, vedpannan och snöskottning/gräsklippning.

If he is that old you should really take same parental leave and after that put him in daycare.

A fathers time start the minute the kid is born!

That is nothing! Make yourself do it or you can forget about your relationship. When you start doing your part you will soon dont feel it to be à burden any more.