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  • My verse in Swedish

    Tor 26 nov 2020 20:51 Läst 0 gånger Totalt 18 svar
    Tor 26 nov 2020 20:51

    I have written a verse in Swedish. I would be very grateful if you give your opinion on it. I am not sure for grammatical errors, because I am not Swede. 


    Du är min bästa kvinna
    Du är min bästa kvinna,
    Du är alltid I mitt hjärta!
    Du är mitt bästa minne,
    Du är min största smärta...
  • Tor 26 nov 2020 21:50 #1 -1

    When you write du är min bästa kvinna it sounds like you have many women. And that will make the girl you have written this for angry.

    You should exchange it to: du är den bästa kvinnan

  • Tor 26 nov 2020 23:34 #2

    Thank you very much! But is it possible to write 
    Du är min bästa kvinnan?


    I prefer to write "min" instead of "den"
  • Fre 27 nov 2020 06:09 #3
    AlexanderFionov skrev 2020-11-26 23:34:38 följande:

    Thank you very much! But is it possible to write 

    Du är min bästa kvinnan?


    I prefer to write "min" instead of "den"
    AlexanderFionov skrev 2020-11-26 23:34:38 följande:

    Thank you very much! But is it possible to write 

    Du är min bästa kvinnan?


    I prefer to write "min" instead of "den"
    Like I said: she will Ask if she isn?t your only one.
  • Fre 27 nov 2020 11:14 #4
    AlexanderFionov skrev 2020-11-26 23:34:38 följande:

    Thank you very much! But is it possible to write 

    Du är min bästa kvinnan?


    I prefer to write "min" instead of "den"
    Can you explain in english what you want to express with those words? Maybe we can help you phrase it so it has the right meaning.

    Because as LasseBD explained you are now implying that you have several women and she is the best one of them. Like you would have said "this is my best pair of shoes".
    Korrekturläser som en kratta
  • Fre 27 nov 2020 11:14 #5
    AlexanderFionov skrev 2020-11-26 23:34:38 följande:

    Thank you very much! But is it possible to write 

    Du är min bästa kvinnan?


    I prefer to write "min" instead of "den"
    Can you explain in english what you want to express with those words? Maybe we can help you phrase it so it has the right meaning.

    Because as LasseBD explained you are now implying that you have several women and she is the best one of them. Like you would have said "this is my best pair of shoes".
    Korrekturläser som en kratta
  • Fre 27 nov 2020 11:27 #6

    If I may say so, even though it is swedish, it's russian. A swedish poem would be more about longing, a bit more depressive and contain more nature

    However, I understand the meaning, it's a very nice poem and I wouln't care too much about the first line. There's a similar expression in english, "you're my best girl"

  • Fre 27 nov 2020 11:55 #7
    AlexanderFionov skrev 2020-11-26 23:34:38 följande:

    Thank you very much! But is it possible to write 

    Du är min bästa kvinnan?


    I prefer to write "min" instead of "den"
    But sure, it?s grammatically correct..
  • Fre 27 nov 2020 14:47 #8

    OK

    This is in English

    You are my best woman,
    You are always in my heart
    You are my best memory
    You are my greatest pain

  • Fre 27 nov 2020 15:04 #9

    I meant that she is the best of all women which I knew.

  • Fre 27 nov 2020 15:17 #10
    I would like to ask - is it correct grammatically to say:
    "Du är min bästa kvinnan"

    Or I have to say:
    "Du är min bäst kvinnan"

    If the first expression is incorrect and must be replaced to second one then my verse is bad :( because the rhythm becomes to be broken.
  • Fre 27 nov 2020 15:45 #11
    AlexanderFionov skrev 2020-11-27 15:17:15 följande:

    I would like to ask - is it correct grammatically to say:

    "Du är min bästa kvinnan"

    Or I have to say:

    "Du är min bäst kvinnan"

    If the first expression is incorrect and must be replaced to second one then my verse is bad :( because the rhythm becomes to be broken.


    "Du är min bästa kvinna" as you wrote it in the beginning is grammaticly correct. Since you really want to say that she is the best woman you've met and the rhythm is important the way it is, then I think you have found the best way to say it for your poem.
    Korrekturläser som en kratta
  • Fre 27 nov 2020 16:10 #12

    Thank you very much for you explanations! I plan to publish a book with my verses in Russian and thought to include this verse also, with translation and transcription. 

  • Fre 27 nov 2020 17:48 #13

    Well, maybe Russian women like being pictured as someone's possession... Or maybe they are dating sailors.... En i varje hamn, det vet de om...


    Gamla matvaror i kylen? Först får de päls, sen börjar de morra och SEN går de ut.
  • Fre 27 nov 2020 20:00 #14

    I have still a question what phrase is correct:

    Du är min bästa kvinna

    or

    Du är min bästa kvinnan?

    Concerning this verse, I would like to explain that this verse is about one women who was in the past with the author, but later she decided to choice another man as a husband. It was many years ago. But the author still remember her and has expressed his sence in the verse. 

  • Fre 27 nov 2020 20:32 #15
    AlexanderFionov skrev 2020-11-27 20:00:57 följande:

    I have still a question what phrase is correct:

    Du är min bästa kvinna

    or

    Du är min bästa kvinnan?

    Concerning this verse, I would like to explain that this verse is about one women who was in the past with the author, but later she decided to choice another man as a husband. It was many years ago. But the author still remember her and has expressed his sence in the verse. 


    Well, kvinna = a woman, kvinnan = that specific woman. 

    That's also why your whole poem seems... possessive and creepy.
    Gamla matvaror i kylen? Först får de päls, sen börjar de morra och SEN går de ut.
  • Fre 27 nov 2020 20:39 #16

    Taking into account your message, I conclude, that "kvinnan" is better than "kvinna".

    Concerning possessive and creepy... I do not think that possessive, but agree that this verse is very sad. When I wrote it, I remember Minnet by Dan Andersson.



  • Fre 27 nov 2020 20:45 #17
    AlexanderFionov skrev 2020-11-27 20:39:00 följande:

    Taking into account your message, I conclude, that "kvinnan" is better than "kvinna".

    Concerning possessive and creepy... I do not think that possessive, but agree that this verse is very sad. When I wrote it, I remember Minnet by Dan Andersson.


    And that would be wrong.
    Gamla matvaror i kylen? Först får de päls, sen börjar de morra och SEN går de ut.
  • Fre 27 nov 2020 23:43 #18

    The problem is: when you are young - you have not experience and can make wrong decision. But when you meet your first love after many years then both have families and children and nothing could be changed. 

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