Ni adopterade vuxna!

Lättare att Läsa:

Hej, TS.

Mycket av det du skriver som adoptivmamma gjort/gör stämmer in på min mamma. Till saken hör att jag INTE är adopterad. Jag är upp växt med mins biologiska föräldrar.

Jag har sedan jag blivit vuxen börjat fundera på vad det är för fel på tanten. Min gissning utan att ha några som helst psykologiska kunskaper är att hon är bipolär eller narcissistisk. Oavsett är hon egocentrisk, kan inte se saker ur andras perspektiv, jorden kretsar kring henne och tycker man inte som henne eller har samma åsikter som henne eller gör som hon säger så är man dum i huvudet, ouppfostrad eller uppkäftig.

Min mamma har av förklarliga skäll inte kunnat skicka bort mig däremot har hon sedan jag var 10 år dagligen hotat med att flytta ifrån oss. Jag flydde/flyttade hemifrån när jag var 16år. Det som för mig är mest irriterande är att hon kan behandla mig som skit och säger jag ifrån så blir jag utskälld för att jag inte är tacksam för allt dom (mina föräldrar gjort). Det hon inte verkar fatta är att ja jag är tacksam för hjälp Som jag fått genom livet det gör det dock inte ok att behandla mig som skit och hävda att det är i uppfostringssyfte.

Jag ska inte sticka under stolen med att jag fått hjälp av mina föräldrar många gånger dock är det till 99,9% pappas förtjänst och inte min mammas.

Till saken hör att jag är 28år, väntar mitt tredje barn (dom andra är 4 och 6år) jag har varit ihop med min man i snart 9 år och vi har varit gifta i drygt 6år av dom. Jag är ingen barnungar som ska uppfostras längre och helt uppenbarligen har ju ändå tanten misslyckas totalt på den fronten eftersom jag kan säga vad jag tycker, stå för mina åsikter och vågar säga ifrån när någon försöker trycka ner mig.

En narcissistisk mors karaktärsdrag:

När jag och min bror läste detta kändes det som att det var en biografi över vår mamma... 

1. Everything she does is deniable.

2. She violates your boundaries.

3. She favoritizes.

4. She undermines.

5. She demeans, criticizes and denigrates.

6. She makes you look crazy.

7. She's envious.

8. She's a liar in too many ways to count.

9. She has to be the center of attention all the time

10. She manipulates your emotions in order to feed on your pain.

11. She's selfish and willful.

12. She's self-absorbed.

13. She is insanely defensive and is extremely sensitive to any criticism.

14. She terrorizes.

15. She's infantile and petty.

16. She's aggressive and shameless.

17. She "parentifies."

18. She's exploitative.

19. She projects.

20. She is never wrong about anything.

21. She seems to have no awareness that other people even have feelings.

22. She blames.

 

Narcissists are masters of multitasking as this example shows.

Simultaneously your narcissistic mother is

Lying. She knows what she did was wrong and she knows your reaction is reasonable.

Manipulating. She's making you look like the bad guy for objecting to her cruelties.

Being selfish. She doesn't mind making you feel horrible as long as she gets her own way.

Blaming. She did something wrong, but it's all your fault.

Projecting. Her petty, small and childish behavior has become yours.

Putting on a self-pitying drama. She's a martyr who believed the best of you, and you've let her down.

Parentifying. You're responsible for her feelings, she has no responsibility for yours.

 

23. She destroys your relationships.

24. As a last resort she goes pathetic.

 

 

"Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers" by Dr. Karyl McBride

"Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life" by Dr. Susan Forward

"Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life" by Dr. Linda Martinez-Lewi

En narcissistisk mors karaktärsdrag:
När jag och min bror läste detta kändes det som att det var en biografi över vår mamma... 

1. Everything she does is deniable.

2. She violates your boundaries.

3. She favoritizes.

4. She undermines.

5. She demeans, criticizes and denigrates.

6. She makes you look crazy.

7. She's envious.

8. She's a liar in too many ways to count.

9. She has to be the center of attention all the time

10. She manipulates your emotions in order to feed on your pain.

11. She's selfish and willful.

12. She's self-absorbed.

13. She is insanely defensive and is extremely sensitive to any criticism.

14. She terrorizes.

15. She's infantile and petty.

16. She's aggressive and shameless.

17. She "parentifies."

18. She's exploitative.

19. She projects.

20. She is never wrong about anything.

21. She seems to have no awareness that other people even have feelings.

22. She blames.

Narcissists are masters of multitasking as this example shows.

Simultaneously your narcissistic mother is

Lying. She knows what she did was wrong and she knows your reaction is reasonable.

Manipulating. She's making you look like the bad guy for objecting to her cruelties.

Being selfish. She doesn't mind making you feel horrible as long as she gets her own way.

Blaming. She did something wrong, but it's all your fault.

Projecting. Her petty, small and childish behavior has become yours.

Putting on a self-pitying drama. She's a martyr who believed the best of you, and you've let her down.

Parentifying. You're responsible for her feelings, she has no responsibility for yours.

23. She destroys your relationships.

24. As a last resort she goes pathetic.

"Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers" by Dr. Karyl McBride

"Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life" by Dr. Susan Forward

"Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life" by Dr. Linda Martinez-Lewi

En narcissistisk mors karaktärsdrag:
När jag och min bror läste detta kändes det som att det var en biografi över vår mamma... 

1. Everything she does is deniable.

2. She violates your boundaries.

3. She favoritizes.

4. She undermines.

5. She demeans, criticizes and denigrates.

6. She makes you look crazy.

7. She's envious.

8. She's a liar in too many ways to count.

9. She has to be the center of attention all the time

10. She manipulates your emotions in order to feed on your pain.

11. She's selfish and willful.

12. She's self-absorbed.

13. She is insanely defensive and is extremely sensitive to any criticism.

14. She terrorizes.

15. She's infantile and petty.

16. She's aggressive and shameless.

17. She "parentifies."

18. She's exploitative.

19. She projects.

20. She is never wrong about anything.

21. She seems to have no awareness that other people even have feelings.

22. She blames.

Narcissists are masters of multitasking as this example shows.

Simultaneously your narcissistic mother is

Lying. She knows what she did was wrong and she knows your reaction is reasonable.

Manipulating. She's making you look like the bad guy for objecting to her cruelties.

Being selfish. She doesn't mind making you feel horrible as long as she gets her own way.

Blaming. She did something wrong, but it's all your fault.

Projecting. Her petty, small and childish behavior has become yours.

Putting on a self-pitying drama. She's a martyr who believed the best of you, and you've let her down.

Parentifying. You're responsible for her feelings, she has no responsibility for yours.

23. She destroys your relationships.

24. As a last resort she goes pathetic.

"Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers" by Dr. Karyl McBride

"Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life" by Dr. Susan Forward

"Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life" by Dr. Linda Martinez-Lewi